I’ve been helping people process and overcome grief for as long as I can remember now.
As a child when most people had pen pals, I had people in juvenile detention that I would write to when they had lost all hope of eventually living a normal life. My hope was to send them a bit of light in their moments of darkness. Over the last few months I’ve been presented with one grief after another. Part of me wondering if this wasn’t some sort of punishment for being on a wrong path or if I was simply meant to keep living a life full of huge obstacles because I always overcome them anyways. My light was dimming and I needed a time out.

Today, inspired by Frozen 2 (hey deep healing can come from the most unexpected places sometimes) I was guided to go back to the forest that I once called home, the place where I grew up and used to go to connect with my inner guidance and release all my pain and frustrations. As I touched the trees and breathed in the fresh air, a wave of emotions came and went. A new awareness sunk in and I set free another layer of grief.

I then returned to the place I now call home, which is by the ocean.
Attempting to take a walk on the beach, it had once again been washed away by the waves. Much like grief also comes in waves and you never really overcome it. Grief may show up in unexpected moments or it may disappear for an unknown amount of time. You can let it disappoint you and maybe even drown you or you can simply learn to surf the waves and process the emotions one at a time. Processing these emotions though, requires patience, silence and slowing down enough to hear the whispers of your heart and soul. So rather than be disappointed, I allowed myself to breathe the salty air and let it give me guidance and clarity once again. Here’s what I found.

I recently watched a TED talk where the speaker said you never move on from grief but you move forward with it. I could not agree more. Grief is as intricate and unique as our fingerprints. There is no magic potion, healing modality or set amount of time pre determined to decide how it’s journey will take place for you.

It’s no coincidence that just a short time ago, I had a huge breakthrough about nothing being permanent. I sat with that statement and new awareness for 2 months “nothing is permanent”. It helped me get through making a challenging and painful decision to save a friendship, a heartbreaking breakup, having a storm completely wash away the beach and stairs in front of our new beach house and then; just a few days after my happily ever after life had been taken away from me, giving a talk in front of a few hundred people that was supposed to be about  “How I’ve created my happily ever after dream life”.  (Rather than being a fraud, I chose to just wing it and give an improvised talk instead).

When in pain or in challenging times, know that nothing is permanent and this too shall pass. When in joy and spending quality time with loved ones, savour the moments fully engaged rather than being distracted or in your mind because again, nothing is permanent.

Disney has always had a huge place in my heart. Dad and I used to talk about Walt’s mission to create movies and parks that made everyone forget reality and really connect soulfully with what he had created. I must say, Frozen 2 was that and so much more for me this weekend. That’s right, not a seminar, life coach, workshop, treatment or influencer but a freaking Disney cartoon! At the start of the movie following a song called some things never change, Olaf philosophically ponders the idea that “nothing is permanent”. My heart skipped and my soul came alive and told me to pay attention. The movie coincidentally turned out to be all about finding truth, healing the past and living your unique journey and place in the world even if it logically makes no sense to anyone but your soul.

Today my date with grief has allowed me to understand it on a much deeper level.
It’s been 3 years since my dad has passed and I now feel that my healing journey needed these 3 years and 3 unique steps to fully move forward in living my unique truth and my soul’s purpose.
Year 1:
I grieved all of the anger that I had towards him. I needed to heal that and let it go if I was to truly let him rest peacefully and let myself move forward and forgive myself for my past mistakes.
Year 2:
I grieved the fact that he was gone and that so many people, things and beliefs have now changed with the ripple effect of him no longer being here.
Year 3:
I finally see the bigger picture and have peeled off the most important layer to my grief-healing journey. Today I have grieved the person that I was when dad was alive and the person who still lived with all of the pressure of making him proud and somehow honor his legacy. Today, I am allowing her to die and allowing myself to be set free. With dad as my unconditional guiding light rather than heavy pressure I’d been running away from, I know that I can accomplish anything, anything that MY heart and soul desires, not what is expected of me from him or anyone else.

In the end, Olaf comes to the realization that it’s true that nothing is permanent except for one thing... Love. 
Our loved ones, relationships, friendships, businesses, and careers they eventually all may die, but our love for the role they played in our life doesn’t have to. Thank you to those who have been a part of my journey so far. You have all impacted me and touched my soul in your own unique way. Co-creating with you has been nothing short of magical... the good and the bad.
I honour you. I am in gratitude, forgiveness and love.